Regrets
If you are satisfied with today and you are at peace with yourself, all your past, all the struggles you went through and the events that bothered you including the people that did so too – that means those were the right events and people.
If only one were different, you wouldn’t be who you are today. If you had not made those mistakes, you would not be who you are today …
And so will be the future … As long as we take stock, and we place the meanings of events in the right place …
November 27, 2014
Men and Women / Listening and Talking
Men and women approach a problem differently. Both will disassociate, but for the men this means taking a step back, to go inside, break up the issue into pieces and make sure they are ascribed to the right boxes. Men prefer silence in this process and in their everday encounters looks for hints to the solution …
Women use emotions instead of the mind when disassociating. They try to move the negative feelings they are having (inside) to the outside. And they do so by talking …
Men need to learn not to advise a woman who is talking about a problem (she is trying to comfort herself). And woman need to shut up to leave a man alone, if he is not talking about a problem.
Love, Tamer.
November 27, 2014
Understanding Relationships as Systems
What would you say to looking at your social relationships as a system?
A system has a goal, modular capabilities, and an internal structure of coordination. For your wife, child or for a friend … If this relationship was progressing towards a goal (possibly shared, to the benefit of most, and sustainable so, then enacting your capabilities as well as their, and if you were in cooperation with them too …
And to do this … if you could stop for a moment and understand their goals, capacities, and internal communication … hard isn’t it?
But, what if the solutions that work came from this perspective?
What I just revealed is the essence of therapy, consulting and even leadership …
It’s also advised to be enacted with mind, labor and heart. Think again … Then again …
Love to All, Tamer
August 23, 2014